Once Upon a December Read online

  “Does he have something of importance to say to her?”

  “Yes.”

  As he spoke, she had retrieved her coat from a cupboard, and he gallantly helped her, causing her to blush.

  “If you are ready, madam.” Darcy extended his arm, and Elizabeth gravely took it.

  Taking in her expression, Darcy hoped to tease. “I do not bite.”

  She managed a small smile. “No, but they do.” She nodded at the horses.

  He stopped walking and looked at her in surprise. “The horses frighten you?”

  “Ever since I was a child. I even dislike carriage rides; they seem so unruly at times.”

  “Elizabeth Bennet admits to fear!”

  “I admit to facing my fears. I am going on the ride.”

  Darcy could hardly help the bit of pride he felt when he added to himself, with me, Sweetheart.

  He handed her in and helped arrange the warm bricks around her feet. Then he held out the large blanket for her to wrap snugly around her lap. They waited for Jane and Bingley to situate themselves.

  At last Darcy urged the horses forward, and Elizabeth was not the least bit ashamed when she momentarily clutched his arm.

  “Do you do this often?” she asked.

  “It is the only way to drive in the winter near my estate. My sister and I spend many hours out of doors like this.”

  She smiled brightly. “Just sleigh rides?”

  He replied cryptically. “There are many things to do out of doors in the winter.”

  “Mr. Darcy of Pemberley skates and throws snowballs? I am uncertain I can believe it.”

  “Why should it be so impossible?”

  “I had not thought you were given to merriment, sir.”

  “When in the right company, I can be.”

  “Oh, of course.” And Hertfordshire was not the right company.

  “You misunderstand me.”

  “Do I? I have heard you can be very agreeable amongst those you count as friends.”

  Darcy frowned before speaking. “I am certain Mr. Wickham has said all manner of things about me.”

  “It was Miss Bingley, in fact, who told Jane that even as you offended all of Meryton your first night at the ball!”

  “I did not have any acquaintance outside of my party.”

  “And no one can be introduced in a ballroom?”

  “You are correct; I should have judged better. I would have wished to be introduced to you that night.”

  Elizabeth could not resist her reply though it was not as saucy as she had intended. “I believe you had such an opportunity.”

  A chill ran down Darcy’s spine. He had soon regretted those words he said at the assembly, not merely because he found Elizabeth quite pretty but because he was raised to behave well, and he knew he had not. And now he knew Elizabeth’s first impression of him was of such ungentlemanly conduct!

  “I should have danced with you, Elizabeth.”

  She blushed but for some reason could not bear to correct him.

  “Why did you not then?” Her heart was beating quickly, and she hated herself for it. She held her breath.

  “I was in a foul mood, and quite frankly, you caught me behaving dreadfully.”

  She despised the sinking feeling she had. Of course, he should have only danced with her out of civility. She could not remain silent and seem affected, however. “I suppose you attempted to rectify your mistake at Lucas Lodge then.”

  He smiled a little. “No, at Lucas Lodge I desired to dance with the lady whose fine eyes I had been admiring for a fortnight.”

  Confused, she scolded, “Could you not see Jane’s preference for Mr. Bingley? And his for her? Well, no wonder you were in such a foul mood! In love with the lady your best friend admires.”

  “Good God, no!” Darcy was so shocked by her misunderstanding that his words escaped without thought. “No, I did not see her preference, nor his.”

  Colour rose in Elizabeth’s cheeks. “You did mean to separate them! I can hardly suppose what made you give her up, and no matter how awful you have acted all these weeks keeping him away, I thank you for returning him.”

  Again speaking without thought, Darcy explained, “I attempted to separate them because your family is of no consequence and is intolerable, not because I fancy your sister.”

  “Oh, so even the handsomest woman in Hertfordshire is not enough to tempt you! Thank you for explaining so clearly how dreadful a connection with my family must be. Do not worry, sir, we would hardly want to be connected with you either.”

  They rode in silence for a moment, but he could have sworn Elizabeth was shivering.

  “Are you warm enough?”

  “I am perfectly tolerable.”

  He closed his eyes in guilt. “I am sorry. It is natural to have these concerns about marriage.”

  “Why should you be the judge of your friend’s happiness?”

  “Because I was judging my own as well!”

  “What?”

  “You! I wanted to dance with you! I want to…God help me, you are the most exasperating woman I have ever met in my life, but I want to marry you!”

  “Oh yes, merely tolerable can tempt you to matrimony.” He was insufferable.

  “This is the answer I am to expect?”

  “How did you think I would answer when you tell me you like me against your will and character, insult my family and situation in life, and admit to trying to destroy my sister’s happiness?”

  “So, if I had flattered you, I would have been accepted?”

  “Been accepted? Did you believe you asked a question? But despite all this, your character was made plain to me by Mr. Wickham.”

  “You take too eager an interest in his concerns.”

  “Who can help but to take an interest in his concerns when they know of his troubles placed on him by you?”

  “Troubles? Oh yes, they have been great indeed!”

  He was so enraged, he did not focus on his driving. The horses stumbled on an embankment. Elizabeth cried out and careened into Darcy’s side. He quickly caught her to him as he righted the horses. Elizabeth trembled in her fear.

  “Release me,” she hissed when he did not. “In fact, we should call out to Jane and Mr. Bingley as we have been gone quite a while.”

  “Are you too cold?”

  “No.”

  He brushed his nose, the only exposed part of him, against her cheek, and she gasped.

  “You are like ice! You are correct; we must turn around.”

  He was about to call out to Bingley when she disagreed. “No, please. I can bear it. Jane is more delicate than I, and she has not asked to turn. She has waited so long to see him again, and if his errand is as you say, then I would give them all the time in the world.”

  “Then you will allow me to keep you warm.”

  “I am not your sister to take care of, Mr. Darcy.”

  “No, not my sister at all. I apologise. I meant to discuss this when we first set out, but I am always so lost when in your presence.”

  Elizabeth blushed a little and was amazed to discover he believed himself in her power.

  “Mr. Wickham is the son of my father’s steward…” Darcy continued to tell Elizabeth of his past with Wickham. She was surprised to hear the truth about the living and astonished and disgusted to hear of his deception of Georgiana.

  “How blind I have been!” she cried to herself. “How prejudiced and partial!”

  “It was my prejudice, first. If I had not behaved so poorly in the country, then you would have questioned his story. But there has been no harm. You are safe.”

  She shook her head. “No harm? I have abused you horribly throughout the Meryton area.”

  “It is no less than I deserve.”

  “No! You are an honourable man, how can you say it of yourself? How can you make me blameless?”

  He took her hand and squeezed it, and she knew. He had not directly said it before, but now he was d
eclaring himself without words. He loved her. He could forgive her so easily because he loved her.

  She allowed him to hold her hand as her stomach flipped at the revelation. She considered what a wonderland she was in, to be loved by Fitzwilliam Darcy!

  More astonishing was the realisation that she could forgive him as well. He was not perfect, but neither was she. He had looked to find fault, but so had she. She imagined more than she ever saw. She had previously determined that vanity was the cause of her blindness, but now she thought better. As misdirected as it was, only one thing could cause that kind of blindness. Her throat was too tight to speak lest she break the fairy spell.

  At last Bingley had turned the sleigh around, and if Darcy could think of anything other than Elizabeth nestled close to his side, he would have laughed at how long it must have taken his friend. A shiver passed through Elizabeth, and he looked at her in concern.

  “You are too cold! Here, we will cover you with my blanket as well.”

  “No, I am well.” She truly was.

  Disbelieving her, Darcy leaned to check the coolness of her cheek with his nose again, but unexpectedly—although delightfully—Elizabeth tilted her face up just an inch, and his lips landed on hers. They pulled back in surprise, and Elizabeth immediately blushed scarlet. He pulled the team aside.

  “If that is what it takes to warm your cheeks, then I am afraid I will have to repeat it,” Darcy said huskily.

  Elizabeth looked up at him through hooded eyes. “You did say you would not take care of me as you would your sister.”

  “Elizabeth,” he said as she slid her arms around his waist. Nothing had felt more right in the world than when he felt Elizabeth’s timid smile against his lips.

  It was too cold for more than a few brief kisses, and they soon set out to catch up with Jane and Bingley. When they met up again at Longbourn, congratulations for their friends were quite in order.

  Warming by the fire in the drawing room with fresh tea and coffee, Darcy approached Elizabeth. “I believe that was singularly the best sleigh ride I have ever experienced.”

  Elizabeth smiled fondly. It certainly was one to remember all of her life. “Is it to be your last, sir?”

  “No, I do not believe it will be.”

  “Then it is only the best you have experienced so far. Who knows how many more pleasant sleigh rides are in your future.”

  Darcy laughed. Dear God, he loved this woman.

  Jane and Bingley saw it all across the room and admitted to their hopes.

  *****

  Two weeks later, Georgiana Darcy was unsurprised to be summoned to Netherfield, where her brother was unexpectedly staying, again, for several weeks. She had heard enough of Miss Bingley’s extreme dislike of Elizabeth Bennet to understand the source of Darcy’s foul mood from weeks before. She arrived on the very day of a party at Sir William Lucas’s.

  Elizabeth and Darcy’s eyes were shining brightly, having made good use of their sleigh ride that morning. Gathering with their friends, and even the family Darcy had come to appreciate, was the perfect ending to their day. The next morning, Darcy would approach Mr. Bennet to ask formally for Elizabeth’s hand in marriage.

  When dancing broke out, the engaged couples took the floor, and Darcy even granted permission for Georgiana to stand up with Sir William’s eldest son. That night the residents of Netherfield Park and Longbourn knew a happiness found only in the warmth of the love of family. When Bingley received a letter from his sisters confirming everyone in their house was suffering from a terrible cold, he could only shrug and wonder at it being the London air. He had hopes yet for his sisters to join him at his estate in the North the next winter and looked forward to a great many more sleigh rides. Here again, his friend was in perfect agreement.

  The End

  Thawed Hearts

  “Were they cold, Fitzwilliam?”

  Darcy’s younger sister’s usual question interrupted his memories. Their father began telling the story of Christmas as a question and answer session when Darcy was a child. It had become a tradition, Darcy continuing when his father died.

  Jesus was not born in December, but such things were difficult to explain to children. Generations of Darcy children were quite aware of how cold winters could be as they always spent them at their estate in Derbyshire. All his life, Darcy had known coldness and, usually, bleakness in December. Last Christmas, Georgiana had asked to skip the story. Looking back, Darcy should have realised that was the moment she decided to cast aside her childhood. The decision culminated in what she perceived was a very grown up decision to elope with a man whom she thought she loved. To hear her request the story this year soothed Darcy’s guilty heart. The holiday was always difficult for him as he had even grimmer memories than Georgiana.

  He pulled her a little closer to his side as they—just the two of them, always just the two of them—sat in the expansive drawing room.

  “It was a bleak midwinter. The frosty wind blew hard; the ponds were all frozen over, and there was so much snow. Snow on snow; snow on snow.”

  He understood now. His father had explained it this way as a metaphor for the condition of the world as a whole before the Saviour’s birth.

  “But Heaven could not hold God’s love, and so he sent his Son, a king born in a humble manger.”

  “A king? Everyone at the palace must have been very happy.” Georgiana repeated the words that he first said on impulse and then repeated with each passing year until, in time, he taught her.

  He shook his head. “Angels and archangels—all the cherubims and seraphims of Heaven—gathered near, but only His mother bestowed a kiss.”

  He held back the tears threatening to escape as he recalled the many times his mother held a small baby in her arms. As if in perfect reflection of the Saviour being born just to die, his mother had to give her life for the one sibling who would survive.

  “What can I give Him? I have nothing to offer a king.”

  They both smiled as they reached their favourite part of the story.

  “If you were a shepherd, what would you bring?”

  “A lamb.”

  “And if you were a wise man?”

  “I would do my part.”

  “Those are precious gifts to give. Well, dearest girl, what can you give Him?”

  “I can give my heart.”

  Darcy looked over as Georgiana quietly cried. Handing her his handkerchief, he kissed her temple.

  “Next time when you give your heart away, the man will know how precious it is.”

  She laid her head on his shoulder, and he sighed. In time she recovered, and the siblings continued through the motions of a holiday that brought more grief than cheer.

  Two weeks later, Darcy and his sister had arrived in London. Darcy was to call at a friend’s and invite him to dinner the following evening. Of course, any invitation to Bingley had to include the rest of his family. Still, Mrs. Annesley said it was good practice for Georgiana. Heaven knew few people in the ton were pleasant, so his sister may as well learn to entertain them.

  The butler led him down the hall to the drawing room and was about to announce him when Miss Bingley loudly exclaimed, “What do you mean you see no concern in Jane Bennet being in Town? You heard her! She has come all this way to try and ensnare Charles!”

  The butler cleared his throat. “Mr. Darcy to see Mr. Bingley.”

  Both ladies straightened and Caroline spoke. “Oh yes, do be seated, Mr. Darcy. Charles, I regret, is out at the moment.”

  Darcy kept his call brief, but when the ladies separated at the subsequent dinner, he examined his friend’s morose demeanour.

  “You do not look well,” he said, startling Bingley.

  “I am well...only...forlorn, I suppose.”

  “Because of your disappointment?”

  “Yes.”

  “I am certain my opinion means little, but I am unsure it is a great loss. She was handsome but spoke so little and smiled t
oo much.”

  “Yes, and I know your views on their connections and lack of wealth.”

  “You are incorrect. I only cautioned you on those subjects. If she gave you her heart, and you gave her yours, it would be quite sufficient.”

  Perhaps it was the effects of the season on him—undoubtedly he was more melancholy this year than usual—but Darcy had a moment of clarity.

  “Bingley...I must tell you...I overheard your sisters speaking yesterday. Miss Bennet is in Town. I believe she even called on them.”

  Bingley’s eyes widened. “And what are you thinking?”

  “I think that is not the action of an indifferent lady.”

  “Do you think she could love me?”

  Darcy paused for a long moment and considered all he knew of Jane Bennet. To declare his opinions again would be selfish when Bingley felt such attachment. He could at least offer the gift of hope. “I still wonder how easily her heart can be touched, but if she truly cares for you and not your wealth, then you have gained a very great gift indeed.”

  “Thank you for telling me, my friend. I will endeavour to earn her heart; I know I already gave her mine.”

  Darcy managed a small smile. Although the wind howled outside, and they faced months of a bleak London winter, a warm ember of hope emerged. Perhaps Christmastide need not be a time for mourning and solitude but for Goodwill towards his loved ones and fellow creatures. He did not wish to gain a reputation as having the propensity to hate everyone. His smile grew as he considered those words and many others—along with the looks and charm—of Elizabeth Bennet.

  A little over ten weeks later, Darcy read a much blotted note from his friend as he prepared to leave to visit his aunt’s estate in Kent. He was able to recognise the words “marriage,” “angel,” and “Longbourn.” He truly was happy to learn of Bingley’s engagement. Bingley’s courtship with Miss Bennet had proven to Darcy—who frequently accompanied his friend to Jane’s aunt and uncle’s house—they were well-matched and their sentiments equal.

  More than realising his friend’s affections were returned, he realised how officious and selfish his interference would have been. As he began to give more with his heart rather than be ruled by his fearful mind, the winter in his life thawed. Even Georgiana noticed, and her spirits improved.