A Sense of Obligation Page 14

  Taking a deep breath, he decided to take a walk in the garden as he contemplated his new duties and obligations as a father and tried to make sense of all the feelings welling in his heart.

  *****

  In the library, Bingley met the cold glares of Mr. Bennet and Mr. Gardiner. He took a swallow of port and eyed the pair of displayed duelling pistols nervously. “As I said, I have already purchased the licence, and my solicitor has begun the settlement. I can journey to London after the wedding tomorrow and have him finalise matters before my return.”

  “And then you will wish to marry immediately, I imagine.”

  “Surely, you see the reason for it being necessary.”

  “When I gave you permission last night to see to Jane, she was crying and upset! I thought you would care for her, not take advantage of her!”

  Bingley crumpled. They had discussed it afterwards, and this never crossed his mind. Had he taken advantage of Jane? She certainly consented, but was she in her right mind? This morning, he had feared she had too much wine. She was distressed at dinner. For himself, he knew that he had desired a moment alone with Jane days before.

  “Do you have nothing to say for yourself? Did you plan to seduce her? Did you send her fleeing the supper room so you could enact your plan?” Mr. Bennet was turning red.

  “Let the man answer, Bennet.”

  Bingley paled. On one count Mr. Bennet’s accusations fell quite justly. “As I attempted to explain when I asked for her hand, I have been very tempted. I did consider that I could have a private moment with her— but only a moment! I considered if she were found with me, it might lead to a faster marriage.”

  Mr. Bennet banged his hand on the desk, and Bingley jumped. Mr. Gardiner cut in. “Bennet, what is this about him asking for an earlier date and explaining his temptation?”

  “Yes, but how could I think that it would lead to this?”

  “And you let her alone with him last night. Why did you not accompany her?” Mr. Gardiner shook his head, and Bingley tried to not agree with him. It took all his amiability to not hurl the cause of Jane’s tears last night in Mr. Bennet’s face.

  “You should have seen it! Six men were requesting Lizzy’s hand, others requesting Kitty’s. Men were eyeing Mary and Lydia. There were four engagements announced last night! The men in this town have answered every mother’s prayer with how marriage-minded they are now.”

  Mr. Gardiner looked confused. “What on earth can be the reason for this?”

  Bingley looked up. “The Meryton rector gave an interesting sermon the other week. I suppose many of us felt a conviction to ask for the hands of the ladies we have long admired.”

  Mr. Gardiner began to laugh. “Does my sister know of all this?”

  Mr. Bennet began to laugh as well. “It would be the death of me if she did, Edward!”

  Bingley began to smile. Perhaps he would not be shot by Mr. Bennet after all.

  Mr. Gardiner sobered. “Come, Bennet. What is the difference of a few days? With so many marriages taking place, and I will assume none shall be lengthy engagements, it should not cast this marriage in a bad light. Should I ask what liberties you took with my sister?”

  Mr. Bennet had been taking a sip of brandy and began choking. When he recovered, he glared at his brother-in-law. “That was badly done!”

  “I am sure I meant no harm to your health,” Mr. Gardiner said with a wink to Bingley.

  “Oh, no, it is not my health I worried for. The memories you brought back.” He shuddered with false effect.

  Bingley laughed with the men but was grateful when the topic returned to his wedding. He desired no images of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, who conceived five children, in his mind.

  “So, when will you return to us?” Mr. Bennet asked.

  “I think I can return by nightfall on Saturday. We could wed on Monday.”

  Mr. Bennet opened his mouth, but Mr. Gardiner spoke first. “That would be ideal for us, actually.”

  Mr. Bennet nodded. “Very well, we shall state that as the primary reason for the moved date. Do you think Darcy and Lizzy can return for the wedding?”

  “I already spoke with Darcy, and he agreed to wait to journey to Pemberley until after the ceremony.”

  “Very well, we are agreed to the wedding on Monday.”

  He extended his hand, and Bingley never felt more relief in his life than when they exited the room.

  *****

  The Bennet sisters chose to go upstairs and visit with the Gardiner children, rather than sit with their mother and aunt. Elizabeth particularly relished the opportunity; after tomorrow, it would be the height of impropriety for her to behave so. Still, she vowed when she had her own children that she would spend a good deal of time with them every day instead of only seeing them in passing, no matter the fashions of the ton.

  In another situation, she would have mentioned child-rearing before accepting a proposal. She could barely hazard a guess as to Darcy’s preferences on the subject, but she reckoned they could do no worse than her own parents, even if they disagreed entirely. Two sensible people undoubtedly had the advantage over parents lackadaisical and silly.

  Her aunt arrived in the nursery and asked to speak with Elizabeth alone. She blushed. At first, she worried about her aunt questioning her on her feelings for Darcy, then feared her aunt intended to give her guidance on the wedding night. She was genuinely relieved her mother did not join them.

  Enclosed in her room, aunt and niece sat on the bed. “Elizabeth, I wanted to speak with you on this hasty engagement to a gentleman, I am told, you greatly disliked only a few weeks ago.”

  Elizabeth blushed in remembrance of her prejudices. “Aunt, it is true. I disliked Mr. Darcy. I was very wrong in my first impressions. And I was nonsensical and prejudiced after I overheard him make an unfortunate comment at a ball. But it is of no importance now. We are very good friends.”

  Mrs. Gardiner looked at Elizabeth for a long moment. “Friendship is not love, which I know you hoped for. Why did you accept him? I do not mean to malign you, but why did he offer for you? He admires you greatly, it is quite clear, but it would have to be a very great sort of love for a man of his standing to marry you unless...”

  Elizabeth gasped. “Aunt, how can you think it?”

  “Your mother certainly does. She says you have missed your courses. You do know what that typically means for married ladies—or those who engage in marital acts while unwed—do you not?”

  Elizabeth answered earnestly, “Yes, but I have done no such thing. This has happened before when I am overly anxious. I am certain my courses will come soon.”

  “Elizabeth, I want you to tell me truthfully everything that happened between you and Mr. Darcy while you stayed at Netherfield. I must know how this improvement of opinion progressed.”

  Elizabeth relayed in all seriousness the events that changed her opinion of Darcy. Her aunt’s interference may appear intrusive to some, but Elizabeth held her in very high esteem and valued her opinion. When she was finished, her aunt seemed to search Elizabeth’s countenance for the truth.

  “Then it is as I said. He must love you a very great deal. How do you feel about having such unequal affections?”

  “Oh, Aunt! No, he does not love me. Maybe someday we will grow to love each other, but for now I am content with admiration and respect. I think we are well suited to each other.”

  “It is good that you have sensible things to rely on as well as these new feelings.”

  Elizabeth began to protest, but her aunt interrupted. “Lizzy! You both are trying so hard to find some manner of rational explanation for this engagement when it is anything but. Now I will tell you how very much I like him; he is perfectly amiable. I will be very much surprised if you are not soon both quite in love and the happiest creatures in the world.

  “Since your mother has determined that you are with child, she has decided she does not need to speak with you on your wedding night duties. Do you
have any questions?”

  Elizabeth blushed furiously but answered truthfully, “I am a country girl....I understand the…mechanics. I trust Mr. Darcy; I know I will be well.”

  “You understand there will be pain and likely some bleeding the first time?” Elizabeth paled a little but nodded.

  Mrs. Gardiner patted her niece’s hands. “Very well, dear. I believe the men should be in the drawing room by now.”

  *****

  Elizabeth took quite some time to recover from the distraction of her conversation with her aunt. She was entirely oblivious to the embarrassed and strained expressions of Bingley and Jane and the cross looks her father and uncle sent the couple.

  After some time, Bingley enquired if the betrothed couples might walk in the garden.

  Darcy offered Elizabeth his arm after helping her with her cloak. Although she told herself she was silly, she blushed deeply at the thought of his nearness.

  “Are you well, Elizabeth?”

  She studied her feet. “Very.”

  “How have you been passing your afternoon?” He smiled.

  Elizabeth looked up and smiled brightly in return. “With the children! I am surprised you could not hear us.”

  His smile widened. “Indeed, I did. Your laughter is always a delight to hear, but you seemed thoroughly happy with them.”

  “I was! I adore all children, but my cousins are great favourites of mine.” She bit her lip before deciding to continue. “The Gardiners are unusually close to their children, and my aunt often spends much of her day with them, even though they have a nurse and governess. When I compare that with my own rearing…”

  “I believe I understand completely. It is popular in the ton to have little to do with one’s children. But I would not want my children to be raised entirely by paid help.”

  “I agree, sir. I am pleased to find we are of a like mind on this.”

  Darcy decided he needed to confirm what he heard. “Is that...is that something you have thought often of lately?”

  “Yes, under present circumstances, it seems prudent to consider.” They would be married tomorrow, and who knew how quickly they would become parents. Elizabeth rather liked the idea of having his children, even as she blushed thinking about the intimacies involved in creating them.

  Darcy grinned; he could not suppress it even if he desired to.

  Elizabeth saw his marvellous smile, and her breath caught. “What makes you smile so much?”

  “You have made me so happy, Elizabeth.” She carried his child! Something truly beautiful would be created from the blunder he made due to his pride. Before he could say more, they were called back into the house.

  *****

  Across the garden, well within view of Longbourn’s drawing room lest they provoke the ire of Mr. Bennet, Jane and Bingley talked.

  “Everything is settled, then?”

  “Yes, I will leave tomorrow after the breakfast and shall return Saturday evening. We will wed on Monday.” Bingley squeezed Jane’s hands, and she smiled in return.

  “Was he very angry?”

  Bingley sighed. “He was, and rightly so.” He paused and looked Jane directly in her eyes. “Dearest, I must know. Did I force you in anyway? Did I take anything you were unwilling to give?”

  “No! I…I truthfully believe I was more willing to give it last night than I would on our wedding night. Or I felt less misapprehension at least. What developed was a natural rising of our passions…of what I generally feel when I am with you.” Jane turned red and held her breath, waiting for his response.

  “Truly?” he asked. Jane meekly nodded, and Bingley laughed in delight. “I am very pleased to have such an effect on you, then.”

  Jane met his eyes again. “I thought you would find me wanton.”

  “And I thought you would find me a rake.”

  Jane blushed again. “It never crossed my mind to consider…” The thought of Bingley with other ladies brought a painful ache to her heart.

  “You are too kind! You feared I would blame you for my actions, and yet you never thought to blame me?”

  “Ladies are expected to think differently about it, are they not?”

  Bingley shook his head. “Not my lady.” Jane smiled, but it did not reach her eyes, and Bingley squeezed her hands again. “And not your gentleman, either.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “We are equals in this, Jane.”

  “You have not…” She blushed again, hating it. A part of her knew most would say this was too unseemly to discuss, but she would love him despite the truth.

  “I have admired other ladies before. I admit, I have stolen a kiss or two in a garden. Each time I thought it as a pledge of our commitment.” He led her to a bench. “Somehow, I never got to propose during the occasion. When I would next meet the lady, I found her affections had changed or were never so serious to start with.”

  He looked ashamed of his previous behaviour, but Jane’s heart went out to him. He had been heartbroken many times. Who would not want his love? “I am sorry for your sake, Charles. Why could they not return your love?”

  He shook his head. “No, in hindsight what I felt for them was not love. It was fleeting and selfish. And that’s why I have to apologise again for last night.”

  “I regret nothing. Perhaps we did not behave as we ought, but please do not apologise. I love you, and there is nothing I would not give you any time you ask it. Bringing you happiness brought me joy, and I have already expressed my own feelings of last night.”

  “And it is my responsibility to ensure your happiness.” He squeezed her hands. Both wished for more but knew they could not.

  “Jane?” Mary’s voice called out. “Papa says it is time to return to the house.” Beyond her, they heard the giggles of Lydia and Kitty, undoubtedly imagining breaking up the amorous acts of lovers. They raced on to find Elizabeth and Darcy.

  They were allowed no more privacy for the evening. Darcy and Bingley soon took their leave, not staying for supper, which was a quiet and early affair. Everyone needed their rest for the wedding on the morrow

  Chapter Twelve

  The wedding day dawned with a start as her mother’s frantic calls filled the house, but Elizabeth could hardly say she felt any different about such alarms as on any other day.

  Finished with her preparations for the ceremony, due to begin in an hour, she waited in a seldom-used parlour. She needed quiet while the rest of the house was aflutter.

  Darcy was expected to arrive momentarily. He mentioned some of his relatives might be in attendance, although he was unsure how many. Elizabeth thought it was odd, but it was such short notice.

  Unexpectedly, Mrs. Hill announced a visitor for Elizabeth. “Lady Catherine de Bourgh and Miss de Bourgh, for you, Miss Elizabeth.”

  Elizabeth was all astonishment but dropped a curtsy. She had barely risen before the lady’s diatribe began.

  “You must understand the reason for my journey here.”

  Elizabeth knew Lady Catherine would not look upon her marriage to Darcy with complacency, but she never expected the lady to arrive to voice her disapproval. Elizabeth chose to ignore the statement. She would not grovel for approval.

  “Welcome to Longbourn, Lady Catherine and Miss de Bourgh. Mr. Darcy is to arrive shortly. May I offer you and your daughter some refreshment?”

  “I am not to be trifled with. An alarming report reached me two days ago. You believe yourself engaged to my nephew, Mr. Darcy! Though I know this a scandalous falsehood, I set off to make my sentiments known to you. I hoped to hear it universally contradicted.”

  “Your coming to Longbourn, to see me and my family,” said Elizabeth coolly, “will be rather a confirmation of it.”

  “I am almost Darcy’s nearest relation. I am entitled to know all his dearest concerns. This match can never take place. Mr. Darcy is engaged to my daughter!”

  “If he is then he would never offer for me.”

  Miss de
Bourgh stood half hidden behind her imposing mother, oddly jerking her hands, but roused to action after Elizabeth’s last words. She shrieked and lunged for the wedding bonnet lying on a nearby chair. She tried to rip off the layers of lace, laughing maniacally.1

  She was hardly successful, but Elizabeth watched with a sort of glee. She hated the bonnet her mother chose. As quickly as it emerged, Miss de Bourgh’s fury faded. Her mother was shouting commandments at her as Miss de Bourgh turned pale and seemed to have difficulty breathing. She was clearly in pain, Elizabeth noticed, and as her hands continued to jerk, they looked painfully red. Elizabeth took the young woman’s elbow and guided her to a sofa before pouring her a glass of wine. Elizabeth turned and looked expectantly at Lady Catherine, who had not ceased her abuse, taking no notice of the plight of her daughter.

  Darcy’s voice boomed from the doorway. “That is enough!” he cried, coming into the room. “How could you ever think I would marry Anne? And how could you ever think Elizabeth would need to use arts and allurements to gain my notice? Do you not see what she just did for your daughter, even as you insult her in every way imaginable? How could I not love her?”

  Darcy stopped speaking as the whole room and, he sensed, there were others behind him as well, looked sharply in his declaration. Elizabeth’s face assumed an unreadable expression, but her eyes misted.

  When she regained her breath, Lady Catherine would not be gainsaid. “Love? Love! Honour, decorum, prudence, nay, interest, forbid this match. Yes, Miss Bennet, interest. You will never gain what you so obviously desire: acceptance in the first circles. You will not be noticed by his family or friends. You will be censured, slighted, and despised by everyone connected with him. Your alliance will be a disgrace; your name will never even be mentioned by any of us.”